SAY IT!!!!

Last nite, I had inline practice.. It's been quite a while since I ever learn anything so intensively, so intimately and finally, I got my REAL physical pain.. Excruciating, lovely pain..

I was pratising soo hard that my nylon socks rubbed sooo hard that they ate into my skin at my ankles.. They look like parallel lines of burn marks and hell, they hurt when I showered just now.. I love that feeling..

Pity my skates, they've always been there for me for the past 6 YEARS.. Along with my knees and ankles and not forgetting my biggest cushion: my ass..

Realised I have problems SHARING.. I mean yeah, I'm ok with the whole of both of my rooms shared with my brother and Salleha (My fridge, tv, laptop, toaster, Xbox, DVD player, clothes, CDs, bags and camera),

BUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ABUSE THEM..

Trust me, I earned them, HARD (save the fridge).. The rest are, seriously, earned with blood..

When I give the greenlight, don't go thinking it's ok for you to have viruses in my comp, or break my CDs or mess up my camera lenses or not clear up your disgusting mess of half- eaten, rotting food IN MY ROOM.. I can be nice and generous, but trust me, I practise 'You break it, you pay' policy.. I've been very independent all this while and sharing is just one way to show that I am independent and don't mind being depended on...

I HAVE MY LIMITS.. Just warning people concerned.. Nothing happened.. Just preparing you guys before you get on my nerves and send me back to the madhouse.. The policy above applies to my head as well.. Therapy ain't cheap, ok?!

Next.. This, is dedicated to someone so near yet so far..

I'm unhappy about happy people.. Seriously, you just feel like puking at everytime they smile and talk in such high pitched voices of joy.. I am growing monotonous, and I think I make it obvious..

Clearly, I am NOT that easy to amuse.. Easy to please, but hard to amuse..

They're hiding something.. Maybe EVERYONE is.. I always thought I have no more secrets to myself, but realised that maybe...

I FORGOT them..

People, if you hate me, please tell me.. SAY IT, just say it!!! Don't hide it from me.. Don't give me your fake smiles or stupid hints that NEVER seem obvious..

SLAP ME!

Let me remember, damn it! It's not like I can't take it, or like I don't know you're reading this??? It's a bloody BLOG!

I want to HEAR it from YOU.. YES, YOU! NOT your friend, or your ANONYMOUS blog, or your hints that you hate me..

It's not fair that I've always asked you if you're okay with it and you fake it ALL the time.. Resolve it.. TELL ME.. Fucking hell, TELL ME.. Blow me away! Trust me, no beating will hurt me more than your silence..

If you are a real friend, help me.. Forget about being a yes- man, believing that you keep quiet out of respect or love for me as a friend.. Let it go and HIT ME! Help me remember... Get me off this memory lane of nothingness.. Please, I NEED to remember who I was.. I'm soooo serious... I've been starting to forget things ALL OVER AGAIN and it's driving me nuts! I don't want anymore medications or brain scans.. No more tests!

Trigger something in me!!! People, please...... Help me......

Maybe I'm too straightforward.. Too blunt.. For CERTAIN happy people..

Ok... I think I screamed enough... Thank you... Please do what I say... Call, sms, e- mail or even in my face.. Just do it.. Do it so that I know who you are.. Give it to me..

I want it PERSONALLY FROM YOU..