Excuses, excuses, excuses...

So finally, I'm truly free..

Been working 5 days a week, about 8 hours every shift and had to squeeze time for the astronomy lectures... But...

MY TRANSFER TO ADM IS APPROVED!!!

Yeah, I'm out of computer engin!!!! HAHAHAHAHA.. True happiness.. I mean really, it's been a long time since I felt I've taken a huge risk for all the right reasons.. And God was listening, waved his wand and blessed His miserable crying subject.. So to Him, a huge THANK YOU!!!

But nevertheless, problems are problems..

Boy issues never seemed so real.. Never handled soo many at one time and I hope I could talk to someone about this, but just too afraid to sound too bimbotic or airheadish..

Guy X: "Hey, have you finished work? Let's get breakfast after you're done." (I was working from 11pm to 8 am)

Me: "Um. Sorry, X.. Real sweet of you to ask but I'm really really tired working all night and my parents will be picking me up.. But thanks anyway.."
In my head: Fuck. This is the 4th time I said no to b'fast with him. What other excuse can I give? Should I just go? He's really sweet, but damn, the last time we went out, he's weird!


Guy F1: "Hey, wanna go watch X- men with me? If not, Superman?"

Me: "Sorry F1, I promised to watch X- men with my best friend and Superman with my BF. Real sorry."
In my head: Ok.. This is the 7th time I said NO to watching any movie with you. Take a hint! I hope my non- existant BF will get jealous and kill you one day, freak!


Guy F2: "Wow, it's been a long time since we met! I kinda miss you, was thinking alot about you. Well, now I'm off to Dubai. Let's meet up for dinner after I come back. So can I have your number please?"

Me: "Ooo. You've been thinking about me? That's weird, but hey, what's a hot girl to do? (wink). Right. So it's 98..... Have fun in Dubai! Nice seeing you again!"
In my head: What the hell is wrong with you, Yati?! Do you know how much trouble you got yourself into? And why the hell he's sooo friendly suddenly? Desperate or something??


Guy F3: "Here's the belated birthday gift. I hope you like it. I miss you. Will only be back tomorrow night."

Me: "Real sweet of you. Thanx, the gift's cute."
In my head: You're real sweet, but seriously, the gift sucks. I miss you too, but we've been going out for months now, and you're not making any move while 3 other guys are moving in quick while you're gone. I can't wait that long.

My point: 1) I don't know how to say no.
2) I hate to disappoint. And worry if he'll be hurt with the truth.
3) I find everyone who cares sweet.
4) I'm suddenly getting alot of dates right after I turn 20.
5) I'm too afraid to tell a guy I like/ hate him. I'll wonder too much about his reaction.

So girls, if you can help me, please, give me a call.. I dunno how I become such a softie and I need a feminine support and advice on who I should choose, whether I should get a boyfriend and what I should say. Should I just trun lesbian again or should I just get a new number? Should I just be mean, or continue superficial friendships? Truly am affected here..

Someone, please, tell me what to do. I can't handle this myself.

Long due..

Yeah.. Photos of my b'day here.. Sorry for the delay.. hehe..

So yeah.. The theme for my birthday this year is Fondue and Pool because in 3 separate occasions did 3 different groups of people bring me out to have fondue and later, play pool.. If you guys remember my previous birthday, I had 3 different groups of people bringing me out to Swensen's in the same week..

It's scary how we all think alike.. Photos are after this post..

And last weekend, my cousin got married.. HUGE occasion.. So Kak Ni, congrats! May your marriage blossom and be blessed with HIS bank account.. Haha.. Can't wait to see lil' Sulasni's running around soon..

So yeah.. It was beautiful.. Tiring but beautiful.. Even our cousins from Kuala Lumpur and Sabah came.. Rahim (the bride's brother and my cousin) had his band down to provide live music and again, chocolates were EVERYWHERE.. I remembered packing the berkats of nearly 2000 pieces (door gift), with Cadbury's.. At the reception was Ferrero Rocher.. The dinner (night before the sanding) had berkats with chocolates too and the flowers at the pelamin had fake eggs filled with chocolates.. Not to mention the gifts from te groom's side!

Willy wonka! Willy wonka!

But yeah, marriage is infectious in the Malay community.. When one cousin gets hitched, the other cousins are already in line.. So when the ball starts rolling, there's no end.. And it scares the shit out of me.. When the kadi was giving his speech about marriage at the nikah, it somewhat freaked me out to see my aunts and parents staring back at me with that I-hope-you're-next face.. Ugh..

But thank God I have many older cousins so.. Yeah.. I'm not pounded with so many questions, unlike my sis and Faisal who had their other halves down to help out.. So order of the line goes like this:

1) Faisal
2) Mardiana (my sis)
3) Rahim
4) Normila
5) Me
6) Kholil
7) Kholid
8) Ida
9) Naquiah (my other sis)
10) The twins (I kinda forgot their names.. hehe)
11) Sufian (my bro)
12) Siti
13) Fathul
14) Adreena (My other sis)

Marriage is a huge deal among the Malays.. Being single is almost sinful.. Not exaggerating here, it's true! Once you hit your 18th birthday, people will start asking if you're attached and the only thing they wanna hear are wedding bells.. And if they know you're single, THAT'S IT! The matchmaking games begin..

And another issue: NS Guys.. NS guys CANNOT know that a girl is single.. They'll start asking for her number, assure her he has no intentions whatsoever but "Just wanna be friends" and next thing you know, he buys you a ring.. They'll try their best to pull the girl closer and closer even if it takes MONTHS.. I'm starting to wonder what the hell goes on in their heads while serving the nation.. Yeah yeah, I know.. THE FAMILY UNIT IS THE BASIC FOUNDATION OF A DECENT SOCIETY..

Decided to mention that because one of Rahim's band members, who is an NS guy, got my number and has been messaging and calling me day in day out.. Yes, the same line.. "Nak berkenalan jer".. Next thing I know, he was waiting down my block waiting for me so that he could drive me to work that very night.. SURPRISE!

Gave a fantastic reason that his mom is working at the airport too and that he's picking her up from work.. True? I dunno.. hehe.. But yeah, it kinda gives this I'm-the-perfect-son-who-is-independent-enough-own-a-car-at-22 impression.. For non- Singaporeans, do know that owning a car in Singapore can buy you a whole mansion in Malaysia.. Free rides, I like... Hahaha..

Guys, I'm not trying to go against nature or God or whatever here.. But really, I'm 20 and to look at a guy and finally accept that he's the one you're gonna fuck for the rest of your life is just too much for me.. The whole idea of getting to know each other inside out is scary shit.. Yes, paranoid and insecure I am.. I dont know how other girls do that.. give in to fate and destiny.. I wonder if such a day exist for me.. To finally give up everything for love.. And make vows of faith and loyalty and dedicate it to a man.. Sccccaaarryy..

Just thinking about it makes me hungry.. Haha..

So finding love isn't my game.. Never good at these things..

Enough blabber.. Here are the photos.. Click on em for a larger version while I get my breakfast.. Ciao!



Yeah, fondue we had..



Love the ambience..



First gift, seems very decent innocent



But.. ooh laa laa...



Next gift...



Bling bling!



Yati the nonok!



And of course, the last gift: down memory lane... Thanx Samz for taking my fingers..



Heaven!



Not black or white...



But chocolate!



Our dear sexy teacher, Usha.. And student, Pras.. Ooo cleavage!



And she shoots!



Ain, the gentle one..



Lioness Aisyah.. Roar! Go Aisyah! (She was on my team)..



Babes of boob town..



Smiley chicks..



And guards of the Istana! hahaha..

Still stucked to...

SHEILA ON 7!

Ok.. Dunno what is wrong with me.. I LOVE them.. Stuck to Pria Terhebat.. Having the album for over a year, I never made sense of the lyrics til now (it's Indonesian):

Hebat, pria terhebat
Itu yang ku harap ada pada ku
Agar, agar diriku
Bisa melumpuhkan tingkah liar mu

Jangan, jangan sia kan
Kehadiran ku pada mimpi mu
Kerna, kerna lewat mimpi
Aku bisa menjamah mu, juga memiliki mu

Ajari aku 'tuk jadi pria terhebat
Mungkin terlalu lama aku telah bersembunyi
Menatap matahari pun aku tak mampu
Udara malam ku terlalu menusuk dada ku
Di persembunyian aku menari
Di persembunyian aku menyanyi
Pria terhebat

Begitu banyak lagu yang tercipta untuk mu
Hanya saja aku tak bisa
Mengungkapnya kepada mu.....

Ajari aku 'tuk jadi pria terhebat
Mungkin terlalu lama aku telah bersembunyi
Menatap matahari pun aku tak mampu
Udara malam ku terlalu menusuk dada ku
Di persembunyian aku menari
Di persembunyian aku menyanyi
Pria terhebat

Ajari aku 'tuk jadi pria terhebat...

Frankly, guys, do u guys feel that way??? Is that what you mean when you say to your girl, that she makes you want to be a better man??

I learn something new everyday.. Now I wish I were a guy and could sing such a beautiful song to a girl.. Hahahaha...

The recent trip to Thailand was beautiful.. And I ate all sorts of seafood dishes available, despite the spice..

And yes, I gained weight... again.. So shut up and stop staring.. Need to do something about this.. Jog at nite?? Anyone? (Conscience: Naaaah.. For once Yati, accept your body!)

And this month, it's like christmas in my house.. Because the 4 ladies, my elder sis (Ana), younger sis (Naquiah), my mom and me, are born in May.. 7th, 3rd, 15th and 13th respectively.. I hate to make big deals about birthdays, but something really odd happened this year..

As many of you already know, Ana likes to "run away from home" to somewhat prove something to my parents.. For whatever reasons I can't make sense of.. Think she did it more than 10 times already and she's too pathetic to run away forever because she doesn't save up and has no true friend.. Think 22 years old..

And so she did it again on 3rd May.. Traditionally, my family will go out on a special family dinner on everyone's birthday.. So it pissed off my mom and dad that she did that to Naquiah on her birthday.. But this time, my parents did nothing much as they used to.. Past times, they would go out and find her and called up all her friends..

"Dier kalau tak suka tinggal ngan kitorang lagi, dier boleh berambus dari rumah ni."
If she doesn't like living with us anymore, she could bloody hell get out.

And trust me, my dad is a cool cucumber.. He rarely lose faith in anyone or neglect responsibilities just like that.. So they did nothing and about 4 days later, she came back, and it was her birthday (7th) and I see no presents, while I already received mine waaaaay ahead of my birthday from Naquiah and Mama.. Shows alot, doesn't it?

It's only today that Naquiah told me she bought something for Ana (least she bothered to): A mug that says, "I'm a big pain in the BUTT."

hahahahaha.. And I just smiled to myself.. She's got some humour..

And my brother is already planning of what to do with Ana's room when he moves in there.. Can't imagine how disappointed he is.. Hahaha..

And me? I didn't even know she broke ties with her fiance (I know, the ignorance!).. And is throwing herself to some other guy named Ishak.. Some divorced guy with 2 kids living in a condo and has a nice car.. Yes, typical minah.. When she talks to me, I respond with pure frankness.. I was the one who opened the door when she came back,

"Siang kau balik?"
You're home early?

Least I'm not at mean as my brother who shouted in the living room when she entered,

"Naper Kak Ti buka pintu?"
Why did Yati(me, stupid) open the door?

hahaha.. I mean Ana somehow is no longer treated as family anymore and it's SUPPOSED to be sad.. But I'm quite tickled by this.. Feel like a bitchy sicko now.. haha..

Think the only one who really gives a damn about her is my mom.. Pointless, I say.. Mother's love is true..

So all that's left is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf ~ Arctic Monkeys