You wish...

I realise I havn't been updating quite normally these days.. I blame it on stress that has got my mind everywhere and cause irrational thought and behaviour.. Oya, and having Hanafe in my mind 24/7 might also be the cause.. Heh..

I'm starting to feel sooo guilty towards my family and God.. The more I try to change, the more hmmm.. I have nothing to say anymore.. I just wish...........

Anyway, today, I decided to update like how I used to.. About all the little things that don't matter..

Today was the last class I'm ever gonna have with KC Yeoh.. Frankly, I really really like him.. I think he's a practical, sensible and humourous communicator ever, no matter how my class disregards him sometimes and how insignificant he physically is..

All I can say is, KC, I'm gonna miss your classes.. I'm beyond honoured to ever be taught by you and I just love your classes and regret now that I never made full use of my time while I still had you as a tutor.. I just wish..............hmm.......

Now thinking about it, all the ang moh teachers that I had, my class sorta "loved" more.. Like Hannes, Meridel, Ken.. Seriously, I see nothing interesting about them.. As compared to Peter and KC, they just seem more quirky and maybe more confident, and sometimes arrogant.. Peter and KC are more humble and down to earth.. People that I can look them in the eye and can tell that they are serious about my well being and growth as a designer, rather than just about grades and attendance..

For them, I'm proud to be Asian..

And just now, Aida told me a guy from school saw me and wanted to get to know me.. She told me he said that I am such an "exquisite beauty".. hahahahaha.. The freaks I attract... Who the hell use that sort of expression these days? Though I do wish I knew who he is...

I have no more to say.. I promise myself I will spend time with my family this week despite all of the stress of school.. So Hanafe, please understand.. I love you, but I love them too...

Sometimes, I wish there were 2 of me and both are equally updated mentally but at the same time, physically apart.. Different places at the same time.. One has hickies and the other don't.. One at my mom's shop and playing with Adreena and go to work on weekends, and the other doing school work and playing with Hanafe and go out with my friends.. It's so hard having just one body.. Sometimes, it really feels like as though I'm tearing myself apart.. Least I wish I could.. I wish.........................

Hmmmmm..................

Scientists, you guys gotta do something different about cloning.. I need help...