Change...
Doc, you know how much I love changes..
Obsessed, in fact...
Maybe that's why I love cutting my hair so much..
But something happened at work that turned out scary.. I was doin graveyard and punched in at 11pm, as always, and realised that a trainee is to punch out at 11.. And so bumped into him... It was Khairul, no, not the Khairul I've been mentioning in my blog... We had a primary school reunion there.. Hahaha...
He still looks the same... The same oily- looking, strictly side parted hair and same smile... But his tatoos.. On his arms, face, neck and God knows where... And acne problems invaded his face... Has said he's got a nice ass, but I didn't get to chance to observe... And he also puts on eyeliner... And I think he's working out.. Somewhat semi- built...
WOW.. I didn't really expect him to turn out that way... A total MAT*...
*a term to describe a typical Malay boy
And to think he's one of the smartest Malay boys in primary school... AND that he's Aszy's cuz..
He talk the same tho'... Reminds me of Michael Jackson a lil'.. Haha.. With the eyeliner and soft- shrill voice..
Recently, Salleha's been talking about goin back to her past and how nice childhood was... And Farkhan, blogging about his beautiful past during puberty...
I can relate to them but somehow, I don't want to go back to the past...
I did have a wonderful childhood, but I was a spoiled child with maids attending to me living in a big terrace house in a private estate and travelling around the world half the time... Sounds like paradise, but I rather have the life now where I know what is going on, how I'm able to control it and how the mistakes done are ALL MY OWN bloody fault.. All I wanted in life, as a child, is independence.. Now that I've got it, I won't complain.. It's far more beautiful and enriching than all the toys and all the travelling I had...
And puberty... Mine wasn't that beautiful... Yes, I did remember my first kiss and all.. But it wasn't a big deal to me.. Especially when the guy's a jerk.. I grew pretty fast, having an almost static teenhood from 12 to 17... I'll try to put up photos here..
Maybe it's because I had friends way older than I was.. Friends I made in internat'l schools and overseas..
When you're an early bloomer, you'll see your friends thrill over something you've explored 2 years earlier.. You'll see them growing boobs and ass while you've had them at 12.. You'll see them growing taller, than you'll ever be.. You'll get to see their first period... And you'll see them making the same mistakes as you did, like shaving, smoking and junking...
And while most girls start making out with their boyfriends at 15 or 16, I had my first kiss at the age of 11.. And while at 15 or 16, they had to handle boys and get to talk about them together, I was struggling when I was 11, cos I had no one to turn to... I just crept in my bed at night crying over some guy trying to rape me and told no one.. It was when my friends started to mention about it, 2 YEARS LATER, did I get the chance to get it all out... By that time, all innocence were lost and there's no point talking..
There are some things I regret losing, but NEVER my ex- es.. You may think I'm in denial.. But when you know how close friends we are, you know I never lost them.. And I never regretted losing my best friends, cos right now they turn out to be bitches.. The very reason I parted with them in the first place.. Things I regret losing are the very simplest joys I never realised I had:
1) A grandfather
2) Loving parents
3) A good education
4) Good skin
5) Freakazoid
You might think I'm cold and evil... I believe there's a higher power controlling death and love.. Thus I shall not blame myself for losing people and love...
But have you ever wondered why my memory is so short? Why I force myself to forget things? Even when they are good?
I hate to dwell in the past.. Cos the present is a wreck too much for me to handle... And I'm loving it... Maybe in the future I will regret this moment where I can actually have control and be in my youth.. Or maybe I will still apply the same concept:
The past?
FORGET ABOUT IT!
I like changes, see? But please, one thing that should never change: Free music... haha..
Obsessed, in fact...
Maybe that's why I love cutting my hair so much..
But something happened at work that turned out scary.. I was doin graveyard and punched in at 11pm, as always, and realised that a trainee is to punch out at 11.. And so bumped into him... It was Khairul, no, not the Khairul I've been mentioning in my blog... We had a primary school reunion there.. Hahaha...
He still looks the same... The same oily- looking, strictly side parted hair and same smile... But his tatoos.. On his arms, face, neck and God knows where... And acne problems invaded his face... Has said he's got a nice ass, but I didn't get to chance to observe... And he also puts on eyeliner... And I think he's working out.. Somewhat semi- built...
WOW.. I didn't really expect him to turn out that way... A total MAT*...
*a term to describe a typical Malay boy
And to think he's one of the smartest Malay boys in primary school... AND that he's Aszy's cuz..
He talk the same tho'... Reminds me of Michael Jackson a lil'.. Haha.. With the eyeliner and soft- shrill voice..
Recently, Salleha's been talking about goin back to her past and how nice childhood was... And Farkhan, blogging about his beautiful past during puberty...
I can relate to them but somehow, I don't want to go back to the past...
I did have a wonderful childhood, but I was a spoiled child with maids attending to me living in a big terrace house in a private estate and travelling around the world half the time... Sounds like paradise, but I rather have the life now where I know what is going on, how I'm able to control it and how the mistakes done are ALL MY OWN bloody fault.. All I wanted in life, as a child, is independence.. Now that I've got it, I won't complain.. It's far more beautiful and enriching than all the toys and all the travelling I had...
And puberty... Mine wasn't that beautiful... Yes, I did remember my first kiss and all.. But it wasn't a big deal to me.. Especially when the guy's a jerk.. I grew pretty fast, having an almost static teenhood from 12 to 17... I'll try to put up photos here..
Maybe it's because I had friends way older than I was.. Friends I made in internat'l schools and overseas..
When you're an early bloomer, you'll see your friends thrill over something you've explored 2 years earlier.. You'll see them growing boobs and ass while you've had them at 12.. You'll see them growing taller, than you'll ever be.. You'll get to see their first period... And you'll see them making the same mistakes as you did, like shaving, smoking and junking...
And while most girls start making out with their boyfriends at 15 or 16, I had my first kiss at the age of 11.. And while at 15 or 16, they had to handle boys and get to talk about them together, I was struggling when I was 11, cos I had no one to turn to... I just crept in my bed at night crying over some guy trying to rape me and told no one.. It was when my friends started to mention about it, 2 YEARS LATER, did I get the chance to get it all out... By that time, all innocence were lost and there's no point talking..
There are some things I regret losing, but NEVER my ex- es.. You may think I'm in denial.. But when you know how close friends we are, you know I never lost them.. And I never regretted losing my best friends, cos right now they turn out to be bitches.. The very reason I parted with them in the first place.. Things I regret losing are the very simplest joys I never realised I had:
1) A grandfather
2) Loving parents
3) A good education
4) Good skin
5) Freakazoid
You might think I'm cold and evil... I believe there's a higher power controlling death and love.. Thus I shall not blame myself for losing people and love...
But have you ever wondered why my memory is so short? Why I force myself to forget things? Even when they are good?
I hate to dwell in the past.. Cos the present is a wreck too much for me to handle... And I'm loving it... Maybe in the future I will regret this moment where I can actually have control and be in my youth.. Or maybe I will still apply the same concept:
The past?
FORGET ABOUT IT!
I like changes, see? But please, one thing that should never change: Free music... haha..
posted by sotongmabok@hotmail.com at 4:04 PM
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