A month too short..

Dear darling doc,

Ok.. Just got back.. This weekend I didn't go home, just for an assignment, which I've yet to understand and finish.. I'm about to give up already with this bullshit.. God knows how much I miss my family..

Today, I didn't progress much for the assignment or preparation for the exams.. Around 5, I went out (to meet you, of course), withdraw money and buy dinner.. Anyway, Doc, I just received your Raya card.. Very sweet of you.. How very traditional.. Cards has certainly become a classic these days.. Havn't read it tho'.. My dad saw it in the mailbox and called me up just now..

This Ramadhan felt the shortest for me.. I havn't wasted a fasting day to mensus or sickness or whatever, but it felt really short.. Guess I didn't lose weight at all.. The detoxing month is gonna be over soon and I'm actually gaining weight.. Salleha showed amazement at my appetite because I'll always eat THROUGHOUT the night.. Soups, pastries, chocolates, mashed potatoes, etc...

And yeah, this year Ramadhan felt most unreligious for me.. I didn't do much Qur'an and not a single terawih.. I hear azan from the radio rather than a mosque.. And people around me just can't or don't fast.. Too many times I went to work and be the only one fasting.. All other girls seems to get their period on a 28- day basis, alot of my guy friends has suddenly decided not to fast this year and many just decided not to be muslims this year by getting tattooed or continuously drinking.. God, please, shake my faith not..

I may have alot of these friends, but trust me, other than not being faithful muslims, they are actually good, fun- loving people.. I have no right to judge otherwise..

Temptations, temptations, temptations.. Yeah.. Yati, with herself, at war..

Again, I must thank Salleha for spending most of her time with me.. Otherwise I'll be spending time with the wrong people, at the wrong time.. Even just now without her, I did..

After buka- ing, around 9pm, I decided to jog (??? first time this month!)... Got back to the room, bathed and then Sheila called.. She said she wanted to show me something.. I agreed, cos I was tired from studying and jogging.. So I waited for her to come to NTU 'cos it was late and unlike her, I don't ride a bike..

History: Sheila was one of the volunteer models I worked with for photography.. We became good friends because she said she has never met anyone with so much integrity as me- I gave her all the 5 rolls of film I took of her naked, so that she won't accuse me of ever abusing her.. We went to Thailand together to develop the photos, where I introduced her to a Thai friend of mine, Jut.. Jut owns a tattoo parlour and does piercings as well.. They hit it off and I went back to Singapore without her..

She came, waking up all my neighbours, ran into my room, slammed the door and suddenly, took off her tight mini tee!

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!"

"What you think?"

I just stared at what is most obvious there: Her nipple piercings...

She's one of those women blessed with huge mamas and cursed with fair blotchy skin, but not as bad as mine tho'.. Shooting her was fun, but hard.. We couldn't do much about her uneven- ness..

Standing there, right in my face, I remembered how huge and erected her nipples were in the cold.. And with the new silver rings there, it made them look even more protruding.. And it didn't help that they looked swollen and red, especially against her fair flesh..

"So? What you think?"

"Woooaahh... (Drooling, almost).... Um.. It's nice, but maybe you wanna back off a bit, before they poke me?? (hehe).."

Tho', I felt my eyes were even more 'pokey' than the pair of big, hard, swollen, pierced nipples..

"You don't like them?"

"Your breasts? I love them!! Haha.. Kidding (not really, I LUURRVE them).. Is it painful?"

I was trying hard to change the subject..

"Yeah, a lil', Jut was very gentle."

"With you? Of course he is! Haha.. You want ice?"

"Nevermind, thanks.. Don't want my tee to get wet later and I think I should get used to have it not numbed all the time."

Weird conversation there.. As much as I'm trying to pull myself out of my previous lesbian lifestyle, these people kept coming back.. AND IT HAS TO BE IN RAMADHAN!! Goodness!!! And remember my post 'I'll never forget'? 'F' has to come back this month as well!!

Why, God, why?

Sheila stayed in my room til almost midnight, talking to me half naked! I asked her if she puasa and she said she always give up half way and eat around 3... Talked to her for a while until I realised that I'm so used to naked women, the appeal is gone.. Women used to be one of God's most beautiful and delicate creatures, and now they are all too... hmm... naked??

That's me pushing myself to wearing the tudong, permanently, that is... Not as and when I 'feel like it', which is the current situation...

And Jut, if you're reading this, Sheila is known to Doc as well.. Even to my parents too.. Don't be mad ya? I won't steal her from you... hehe..

Walked her out and bid her off until the sound of her engines turned to silence.. This Ramadhan has been really hard for me.. And yet, I havn't got enough of it..

I'll be tested even if it's the last day I'll live.. So help me God..

Herbie Hancock: Possibilities

Yes people, believe it or not, I'm addicted to that bloody album especially Safiatou with Santana and A Song For You with Christina Aguilera.. It's really relaxing, rejuvenating.. Yeah, I don't make sense when I'm addicted...

Just went for a haircut with Salleha just now.. This is her shortest haircut in her life ever, and she's loving it (finally! Someone else who understands my obsession with short hair!)... At the shop, she was all smiles.. Nonetheless, think I have little- er hair than her, cos my fringe is now relatively very short, as you guys would expect... But yeah, by neck length, mine is longer.. Isn't that amazing? Salleha having shorter hair than Yati??!!

It's been quite a food fest these days... Yesterday, Ain, Samz and I went to Geylang bazaar (again) and ate like it's a whole big BBQ.. We ate kebabs, dendengs, chicken cheese sausages, burgers, satay, takopachi balls, char kuey and all other deep fried and barbequed nonsense..

Bloated like 7 months and kicking... And yeah, girls, please be aware of what you look like while eating chicken cheese sausage, especially the thick ones, oozing cheese, with a stick thru it.. (get the picture, yuck!) My gawd.. The thot haunts me.. Haha.. Eat them sideways, k?

Yeah, met alot of Starbucks partners there, all in separate occasions: Kavi, Cam, Curls, Lin... All down there.. Heard Lili was there too.. Wondering who were the poor souls working that night..

And yeah, beginning to realise that married life is quite nice actually.. Really, you'll never know how deep you can go with someone UNTIL you live with them..

Living with Salleha has taught me alot.. Lots more than my previous longest relationship (which I didn't live with the guy).. At first, COMPROMISE seems like a big word, but you'll learn to accept each other's mistakes like your own.. I couldn't really stand having second opinions at the start.. Most of the time I would like to be alone, but later, I got used to the idea that Salleha is very much a part of me already, I'm quite comfortable having her around ALL THE TIME..

I think I've never been so honest with anyone before (save my mom).. Salleha has seen me at my worst.. She's seen the naked me (literally and fugaritively).. The ugly and the beautiful Yati.. And it's odd that she actually liked me looking 'all natural'- with my hairband, exposing my olympic- sized forehead... Samz said I look sweet that way.. Hahaa.. In my all natural, I may look sweet, but only neck above cos going braless and in shorts all the time with my cellulites, it's quite disgusting.. Imagine, that's what Salleha has to put up with every night.. She has endured alot of me, I guess..

It's amazing how sometimes, we can sit in the room, quiet the whole day, and still be so comfortable with one another.. Like we can catch each other's vibes so instantly..

She's like the elder sis, I lost a long time ago.. She's my role model in alot of ways: She goes to school everyday, keeps her 5 prayers, does homework, is loyal to family and God, sleeps right, provides cereals continuously, knows to live life on a budget and dresses quite appropriately.. That somewhat prevents me from going astray, as I would normally do.. Keeps me grounded and brings me back down to Earth..

And this Ramadhan, our marriage blossomed even further (Sal, if you're reading this, I know you're already getting sick right now).. We've spent nites buka- ing and sahur- ing together, cutting hair together, watching movies while sleeping together, studying, shopping and taking photos together... Sweet memories of you I must keep..

And I must add that our fellow toilet mate, Munirah, (also an ex- tpjcian, best dressed at prom, in fact) bonded with us more in this wonderful month of Ramadhan.. Sharing food, toiletries and going to hall suppers together.. She even gave me some herbal medicine when she heard me coughing badly in the shower that day.. How thoughtful of her..

LOVE is all around!!! Or maybe it's the jazz getting to me..

What does it mean, really?

Ok.. This morning, I woke up with an sms:

"Homework for today: List down the things you think about today and the frequency it happens. Rank and post it up."

So Doc, here it is:

1) My parents
2) Sex
3) Food, meat particularly
4) God
5) Exams
6) Programming assignment
7) My flabby body
8) Sleeping
9) Laundry and the rain
10) Sun tanning

Okaaaaaaaaayyy, so what does this mean? Doc, why are you doing this? I hate you..

Realised that I may sound that I hate my parents, especially in this blog and when talking to Sal, but yeah, I love them.. I just kept on pushing their problem to the back of my head, only to catch it again from an unknown direction..

It's hard having parents who like to work and leave their children... Maybe they are trying to be funny and practise 'absense make the heart grow fonder'.. It has certainly worked and caused much misery at that, scarring our childhood..

I mean really, I think about them ALL the time.. Maybe I should get a boyfriend.. Haha.. And yeah, I'm actually getting really worried for their age.. One main reason why I work while still schooling and staying in this terribly hard and confusing school course is because of them.. I want to contribute to their golden years.. It's not like they are showing signs of death or retirement or anything, but hell, I'm worried..

It's bad to be the only child and have all these responsibilities, but it's WORSE to have siblings and know that they won't care.. And they'll probably turn to your parents for money which YOU provided.. Yes, I'm THAT negative about my siblings.. That's the future I see.. I'll end up with all these resposibilities, eventually... I see my aunts and uncles doing it and I won't be surprised if it happens to me..

Maybe that's why I'm kinda afraid of serious, long term relationships.. Cos I know that if I had a husband, he'll probably hate my parents and won't let them stay, or if I decide to live single with a fellow spinster(you should know who), she'll get annoyed as well..

So yeah, taking it into my own hands, so that when you pray at their funeral, you're relieved to know that they have at least one daughter praying for them.. They probably spent their prime choosing the best milk formula for their babies, and it's about time their babies grow up and repay the favour..

#2, 3 and 4, I blame on puasa.. Sometimes, I get sooo horny and hungry, I wondered if God really locked up all the demons this month...

#5 and 6, should be my #1 right now.. But hell, I'll flunk them anyway and will have to overload next year.. Doc, if this is some sort of a priority check, please help me do something to change my focus..

#7, 8, 9 and 10 are results to this nice cool weather, just perfect to snuggle up in those sheets... And yeah, I kinda miss the sun, it's warmth and it's brightness.. I can't do laundry now, cos they won't dry up.. Feeling lethargic and bloaty right now, I can't play outside cos it's raining and I'll probably skid off too much if I skate.. And lastly, I miss the beach too much.. I miss the sand, the smell of the salty sea, the sound and motion of the waves as it soothes you while you swim from one shore to another, the scorching sun and my body just laying there, baked brown..

Once a beach bum, always a beach bum..

I have 2 and a half hours before buka...

Please..

This is a message to all guys out there planning to get married:

DON'T EVER ATTEMPT TO CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE.

Trust me, it's not worth it.. No matter how gorgeous or how in love you are with that other woman.. I see it in my own home and in most of my friends', and ALL our homes will never be the same again.. Things I noticed as I went back home this weekend:

1) No toothpaste and floss, thank God our travel collection of about 20 travelling toothbrush and toothpaste sets didn't go to waste. (Good thing I brought mine from my hostel)
2) No fresh milk. (Rarely happens)
3) No tissue paper.
4) No milk for Adreena. (This really pissed the hell out of me)
5) No hand- dishwashing liquid.
6) My brother's eyes were glued to the tv screen 24/7. In my room: Xbox, the computer and watching VCDs, in my mom's room: watching DVDs, in the living room: more DVDs and Kids Central, at my mom's shop: more Xbox and he hogs the computer)
7) My younger sis is not studying for her upcoming O's, forever with her band composing songs.
8) My elder sis giving all sorts of excuses from doing anything to contribute to home. (This is not much of a problem, cos that bitch is a pathological liar from the start)
9) My father needing me to ask him twice about EVERYTHING.
10) My mom counting money all the time.
11) Laundry piled up more than ever. (Mind you, this is without mine)

Things I noticed at my mom's shop:

1) People coming in and out non- stop.
2) My dad sleeping at the back all the time.
3) My bro (as mentioned above)
4) My younger sis, continuously greeting customers.
5) My mom continuously sewing.
6) Adreena running and screaming about, unless if watching Monsters Inc. or Man In Black or taking a nap.
7) Me, forever folding back stuff customers opened up.

My point is:

NOBODY GIVES A DAMN ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE.

That's what will happen to your home when you make the rest of your family members feel betrayed. They'll try to avoid facing problems at home and turn to the TV, sewing, money and music. Yes, business has been really very very good this Ramadhan. And it has proven to me that money will never equate to happiness.

All of them seem fine, being able to sleep at night, but truth is, they are actually trying the SLEEP THE PROBLEMS AWAY.

And I also realised that maybe I'm quite the ONLY shopaholic in the house, as I've always been the one urging and tempting my dad to go somewhere, like Mustafa Centre, or Carrefour, or Funan the IT Mall, or Orchard Road, or Far East Plaza and buy all sorts of unneccessary, but important things.

So yeah, in my frustration with NOBODY CARING ABOUT THE ABSENSE OF ADREENA'S MILK, I shook my father awake in my mom's shop just now to give me some money to go shopping. Immediately his response,

"Hmmm.. Good idea, huh? Why not Naquiah (my lil' sis) and you stay and look after the shop while your mom and I go to Sheng Siong at Tekka Mall to get the stuff."

"Okaaaay.. (My God!).. I'll make a list of things you guys MUST get, cos it seems that nobody's been taking stock of essencial stuff at home."

"Yeah, maybe you should. If not, your mom and I might forget about them."

I've been home for only ONE day a week and I'm making the list. And what the hell??!!

"might forget about them."????

My parents have never been this impossible.

********************

However, the shop has been quite the blessing in disguise, bringing all our relatives together, tourists and even the Singapore Tourism Board was amused by the mannequins (which I personally dressed up all 6 of them, ahem!) at the pathetic light- up at the streets of Arab, Bussorah and Kandahar Street. All aiming their SLRs particularly to the 3 tall ones standing inside.

It has brought in alot of rezeki, which may be a compensation to my mom and the state of our home. My sis and bro are generously paid by my mom. And in just one day, I feel real happy to just serve customers, to find their tudongs and brooches. The energy there is great. Shelves are getting a lil' too dusty tho'. Shall find time to help my mom at her shop these days.

And I guess, being located just 2 shops away from Masjid Sultan, made the occasion feel more important as a religious one- with the azan and the terawih, rather than at Geylang all hyped up with the lights and vendors shouting about.

Atmosphere near the original Istana is far more romantic, peaceful and nostalgic, especially when all of us (with a few of other shop owners) sit together along Kandahar Street to buka together like a big family- al fresco. And other strangers with no place to buka are fully welcomed to join us, as we're given free Nasi Briyani and bubur everyday.

I'm away from my family for 12 hours only, and already missing them. Hope to survive the whole week ahead.

Back from the dead..

I'm down with fever right now and can't seem to sleep.. Reached home at about 10.30 p.m. just now..

Something scary happened today...

Around 12a.m. or 1a.m. just now, my parents started quarreling... Being sick (of them and fever), I went out of the house to dump some ciggies on my grouchy, dying neighbour (to die all the faster) and to test out an old fully manual Yashika SLR that my mom told me to try out last week..

Film was already loaded and I borrowed my dad's old flash.. Went to the void decks where the stray cats usually were..

Sky was red, indicating rain.. So there I was to take pictures of this cute black cat.. Its eyes were amazing.. It was near the benches where my cousin and Fathul liked to sit and chat..

"Ati- tot!"

That was my cousin, Amal, calling from up above (he lives a few blocks away from me).. Apparently his mother and siblings will spend the night at my grandma's..

Family history: 1) His father passed away a year ago, a few months after my grandfather.. So yeah, his mom (my aunt) suffered the most, losing her 2 MOST DEAREST men in her life.. Her children grew up real fast.. My cuz, the eldest now 19, was then given his dad's car and all the responsibilities of a father..

2) Ati- tot is my baby name, short for Yati Kaytot, being the chubbiest among my cousins when I was small..

I used the flash which scared the animal off.. Stood up, waved at Amal.. Walked on.. Suddenly, in my aching head, I feel a lil' breathless and blackness was closing into my sight... I just fell..

Next thing I know, I was laying on a bed, in a room with a damp towel on my head, the camera beside me, undamaged from the fall.. The room had a huge bicycle hanging on the wall, with some of its parts on the floor being mended and some modified.. I recognised it immediately.. Amal walked in,

"Ati ok tak?" (Are you ok, Ati?)

"Huh? I fainted is it? Brapa lama Ati kat sini? Mana Cik Zai?" (How long was I here? Where's your mom?)

I was still groggy, having a headache and realised that he probably carried me up there.. A hefty 48kg Yati.. I looked at him, and saw his father, Cik Zainal, instead... So alike in many ways.. His peaceful face, cheeky smile, wide nose..

"Oo, Cik Zai kat rumah Nyai ngan Hilmi, Anis. Ati demam tau. Amal tadi angkat Ati, muka, tangan Ati semua pucat biru. Tangan Ati sejuk giler." (Oo, my mom is at grandmama's with my siblings. You're having a fever. I carried you just now and your face and arms were pale blue. Your hands were super cold.)

I sat up, removed the towel from my head and looked at my arms. Yeah, there were unusually pale and my veins could be seen. Green lines running down my arms, all twisted and glaring..

"Macam hantu. Muka Ati macam Yayi sey. Abeh malam malam buta amek gambar kucing pakai camera Yayi pulak tuu." (You look like a ghost. You looked like our grandfather. On top of that, you took photos of cats in the middle of the night using grandfather's camera.)

"Ni camera Yayi? Betol, eh? Amal jangan bedek ah. Mama tak bilang Ati pon." (This is grandfather's camera? Really? Don't lie to me. Mom didn't tell me that.)

At this point, it freaked me out a lil'.. Cos I saw his dead father in him and he saw our dead grandfather in me.. And I don't usually faint.. Last I fainted was 3 years ago..

And to think that out of all the 12 grandchildren, my grandfather was most evident in me, just that he was alot fairer and has a very sharp nose.. He was PALE fair and I'm dark.. I took on his wide forehead, M- shaped hairline, thick eyebrows, puffy eyes, his cheekbones and jaw, his long body and short legs (maybe that's why I look boy- ish)..

And I was using his camera! And the whole rainy atmosphere with black stray cats with enchanting eyes, adds to the spookiness..

"Amal, thanks alot. Ati nak balik aa. Dah malam." (I wanna go home. It's late.)

"Tau pon! Nanti Amal antar." (Now you realise! I'll send you home.)

He walked me home, carrying that heavy SLR for me. And he didn't say a word to my mom about it.

Damsel in distress back home at almost 3a.m... Raya this year, alike the last, is gonna be gloomy, without the two..

God, bless that boy. Shower his family with rezeki and happiness.

I'll never forget..

My nose is fucked up right now and just now, I banged my head into the bathroom door.. So now I have a blue black around my cheekbone and left eye area.. Thank God, I'm quite dark, have dark rings and puffy eyes to cover them.. Still swelling and hurts when I squint or yawn or laugh hard tho'.. Clumsy me..

Something I should note and remember...

When I was buka- ing at work just now (was doing M2), I got an SMS from a long lost friend I was referring to in the post titled 'SAY IT!!!!'..

"I hate you. I hate you so much, I cried. I creid everytime I think abt it."

Her exact words, including the spelling mistakes.. Seriously, this isn't something normal girls sms one another... To make things easier, let's call her 'F'...

I sat there, in front of my half- eaten Filet-o-fish, wandering what the heck made her soo mad at me.. Recently, I read her blog.. Around August, she wrote about being

"heartbroken because of a selfish BITCH."

Anonymous blog, but somehow I knew it was her all along and knew the "BITCH" was me.. So now she, knowing my blog, has responded to my post.. Now, in October? So I replied,

"I'm so sorry for whatever it is I've done. But pls, help me, can't remember what I did. Can't even remember what we were."

Still eating, all I could recall were the few times I spent with F during my JC years.. I would often skip classes and lectures to meet her.. Spend nites with her at clubs, beaches, bowling, tanning, skating and go back home 5am and sometimes, crash at her place or our close guy- pal, 'M'... She was my only escape from JC life, my family, Doc and most of the time, myself..

"U can't remember?? Of course, liars like U R so gd at pretendin tt u can even lie to urself."

True.. I often pretend and hide my true feelings.. Feeling frustrated and useless, I finished my break, fast as I could, and returned to work as if nothing happened..

It was later, when Uncle Peter was sending me off, that it came back to me.. In the cab, I took a short nap before the cab stopped over at Geylang bazaar, cos Uncle Peter wanted to get some food.................

It was a month before exam season (if I remembered correctly), we spent the whole nite club- hoppin thru' MS and town area.. We had M to drive us around and promised to look out for one another 'cos she likes to get drunk and me, high..

We were feeling quite horny that night and were on the dance floor like 2 lil' sluts under an elephant tranquiliser until M offered to take us to his place, where (as he said)

"it might be safer where all the guys won't be watching."

As M was driving, we were making out at the backseat.. She was teasing me all the way, pushing and pulling her tongue in and out of my mouth while trying to unhook my bra.. I just lay there, lazy and tired as I was, enjoying her hands..

We somehow managed to get to M's bedroom... I planned to sleep cos I have school the next day..

She must have been REALLY horny or REALLY drunk.. She wasnt only kissing me, but M as well.. She's crazzy, I tell ya.. Seriously, I wasn't turned on, cos to me, M is my close friend and I knew him inside out, like my own brother.. At least I thought I did... And he just broke up with his girlfriend (who are now back together) at that point.. The thought of a threesome may sound fun, but with HIM??? And HER ALL DRUNK?? I was plain disgusted..

Look, I can get horny and really 'hands- on', but I know where to draw MY LINE, even when my head is all over the place.. Sibling- like friends are a BIG NO- NO to make out with.. Even just to comfort..

I guess M was on a rebound and was turned on.. By what, I dunno.. Cos, seriously, her breath stinked sooo bad and my face was about to turn green.. BOTH of us were looking like crap..

After she tongued him, M grabbed me across my chest, my back on him and started licking my shoulders and neck! Already disgusted, I pulled myself away and told them I needed to puke.. M let me go and started on F instead.. Went out, shut the door..

On my way to the bathroom, I decided that they should have their own fun, I should not be disgusted any further, I shouldn't be the lamp post and took a cab ride back home... Quietly, I ran out..

I didn't know what happened in that room.. But something bad, I guess... Cos the day after and the next and the next, F didn't respond to my calls or sms-es... She only replied once, saying that she took care of me and that I wasn't there when she needed me the most... M? Worse! We havn't talked since!

So far, that's all I could remember..

Am I to blame? To give them space so that they can fuck the fuck out of one another? Or was it an escape to save my own selfish ass?

Was she mad becos she was 'in love' with me and was heartbroken? Or did M do something to her and I wasn't there to look out for her?

Was I there to remember? Did she tell me? Did I block it out completely?

I don't know.. But I know I'll never forget, again..

MOVIE MANIA...

Last Tuesday night, Salleha and I rented VCDs to watch at night.. That night we watched The Thin Red Line together and I watched The Motorcycle Diaries later, alone, 'cos Sal fell asleep.. So yeah... I have another 2 more movies to watch..

Realised that I rarely sleep enough... Salleha constantly asks, at every half hour,

"Aren't you gonna sleep?"

Hehe.. reminds me of an ex who felt so insecure as I watched him sleep.. But slept anyway, 'cos he's the type who'll get cranky without clocking at least 6 hours of sleep..

"Can you go to sleep already? It's 4a.m. Aren't you tired?"

Thing is I can sleep... But not for 8 hours straight.. My body aches if I do that every night.. So yeah, I sleep 2 hours here and there.. Doc, you have any recommendations? I know, no more pills, but exams are coming and I can't afford to get tired in the middle of a paper.. Anw, thanks for the book.. Didn't do much help, but thanks..

I LUUUUURRRRVVVEEE The Motorcycle Diaries.. I can't believe it's based on a true story.. And the main actor is damn damn HOTTT... Not only cute by face but SEXAY with the accent.. Tho' I doubt Sal will like it..

And I have more tolerance for slow- paced, arty farty movies than Sal does.. She talked alot when we watched The Thin Red Line..

The Motorcycle Diaries really moved me.. Seriously, it's no drama- mama and has no sexual elements at all (sorry, guys), but touches on issues close to the hearts of many Latin Americans.. A beautiful story indeed.. Full of culture, passion and interesting faces.. I will buy it.. Worth buying more than just renting...

The Thin Red Line was the censored version.. So yeah, quite a bore without the gore.. A real dread to watch war movies about soldiers fighting aimlessly... Again, I should mention that I'm not very military.. I AM a girl.. It's really hard for me to understand how guys can take commands from people who can't settle their own issues diplomatically and then send others to their deaths, in thousands, causing much grief to innocent family members.. There is such a thing as A PHONE CALL or TALKING OVER A LATTE..

Realised problems in reationships:

1) Guys fear not being able to maintain a relationship.
2) Girls fear not having a relationship in the first place.

Easy for guys to ask girls out, but hard for them to keep girls interested.. But for girls, it's hard to ask guys out, but probably easier to get them interested (if you know what I mean)..

And I think mothers, wives and girlfriends of soldiers are the strongest women on Earth.. They might not have fought any war, but being alone- to support kids, to sleep at night, to worry about their loved ones and to lose everything, is a far bigger challenge.. They can always choose to move on to another guy (save mothers), but they didn't, 'cos they knew that the BIGGEST fear men will ever have: not being able to MAINTAIN a relationship, a real scar to the ego..

Something for me to think about.. Dating guys serving NS sux, I tell ya...

Craving for movies...

Hey y'all.. As of today, you need to wait for 160 photos to show up on this page alone cos the geylang trip , which Doc wanted to see, has 100 photos, but I only uploaded 70 of them here...

Just watched Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo with Ain just now.. A damn damn damn funny dirty movie, which managed to squeeze certain moral message in between..

Yeah.. Ain is a fun person to watch movies with cos she's always in the mood for one.. Previously, we watched Into The Blue, starring Jessica Alba.. Hottttt... Hmmmm... Puasa- ing... hehe..

And geylang trip.. Yeah.. Realised that most kids who go there never puasa in the first place.. Just go there to pick up some mat or minah who's willing enough.. There's really nothing special there, EXCEPT for the raya atmosphere... The lights, colours, the music, the food.. It feels more cultural than religious... But the whole point is ACTUALLY RELIGIOUS... It feels like..

A food festival..

Yes, people, we are Malays.. And Malays luuurrrrvveee food... Come to think of it, taking photos there made me realise how very well- endowed Malay girls are, compared to what we have here in NTU... ahem!

Anyway, please do not be deceived.. NONE of the clothes Salleha tried was bought.. We bought her raya clothes somewhere in the bazaar instead, where it was too crowded to take any photos.. And on our way back to Tampines, we took photos of ourselves looking goofy and stupid on the bus..




Highlight of the day...


GEYLANG TRIP



First stop: First Lady..



It was HARD finding the salesgirls..



Salleha's usual pick: Black..



Option 2..



Option 3, my fav, but Sal didn't like the cut.. (Me at the back!)



Tempting isn't it? With the spotlight and the threat "Amanah" down there..



Sunset is always beautiful..



Anywhere around the world...



But of course some asses need to spoil the mood..



By blasting country music in the middle of nowhere and practising line dancing with extra cheese..



Abandoned is...



The old fire station.. Spooky ey?



Wak Tanjong Mosque (still under renovation)



Preparing for terawih..



Our way back...



Was a very long one..



SO BRIGHT!!



I LOVE to do this effect.. Shud've used the tripod...



These, could kill..



You know this place...



Holding the crowd as I took this one.. Really..



This Minah was sooo shy and sweet..



This is what S'pore's about!



More food: Hot Dogs, Dendengs, Chicken Wings! You name it!



And clothes are SUPERRR cheap!



Just look at the crowd, man.. I had to tiptoe to take this..



And of course, more lights...



And MORE clothes..



Simply chips!



Can you believe THIS under all that canvas?



You know him...



I could've sworn he sold the same stuff when I was 5...



All into the atmosphere..



Bling bling!



Lights, camera, and more lights?



kebab!!!!



A happy vendor who thinks he's gonna get famous tomorrow...



Can you feel the BEAT? (This was taken at 1/4 sec, see how fast his hands are moving?)



My senior TRYING to sell her 'malay-fied' kebab to us..



Prata anyone?



These, need skills man.. Especially the small ones..



Zul's friends and family.. (Zul's all shy)



I like his hat..



This Mat was the only one who 1)Didn't shy away 2)Didn't pose for the papers 3)Still talk normally as he serves his customers.



Mat Towel is very appealing.. Riiiite...



Now that I see this picture, I know not to take drinks from this guy.. Hehe..



Yes, still searching for Sal's clothes..



My old bazaar neighbours: Pakcik Ahmad and his son-in-law, Usop...



Freaky stalker in blue with a freaky smie.. History: he was from my primary school and after I got out of that school, he started shouting at me "Hey, you from Tampines Pri, rite? I'm Mamat!" I mean SERIOUSLY SHOUTING as I give that "I soooo care" look.. This happened MORE THAN 5 TIMES! Thing is, we NEVER talked in pri sch!



I want a magic flying carpet!



Cool hawaiian uniforms you guys sport!



This is one of the MOST IMPORTANT INVENTIONS of all time!



Packed like sardines, my mom calls it..



Having a camera that lets you take pictures of yourself is FUN!



Salleha, the CLAW..



Scary indeed..



And dangerous...



The Japanese in all of us...



Along with our inner racoons..



Bored already?



there's always something interesting out there...



Salleha's acting looks too real.. Goosebumps..



Angelina Jolie wannabes...



All shagged.. (And drooling)



Spooky...



Priceless



This is why I NEVER wanted to watch horror movies with Sal..



Retarded..



Hunger pangs..



Two girls behind (and infront) of the lenses..